Successful or Faithful?
Mother Teresa once famously said that God did not call her to be successful but to be faithful, and even though I’ve heard many people repeat that statement over the years, I’m not sure just how many people really believe it. Clearly, she believed it. But, what about the rest of us? As a pastor, I live in a world of church growth fanatics who seem to endlessly strategize and fixate upon how to become successful in building a church ministry.
Generally speaking, ministry success seems to be gauged by how many people attend your church, by how large your ministry budget is, by how “state-of-the-art” your facilities are, or by how many books you’ve written and sold. And, it’s all very easy to draw comparisons and conclude a measure of worth or success from how we, as pastors, stack up against each other in those categories. And to be fair, it’s very human to assess our personal success based on the comparative successes and failures of others. And yet, something about this evaluation process has become progressively more uncomfortable for me.
I’m staring down my 35th year on this earth and have been a pastor for ten years now. After a decade of serving the church, I am at a place where I feel a strange disconnect with the typical church growth model of success. Though I think I can honestly say that I have been groomed for ministry “influence” all of my life and have intentionally pursued it for the last ten years, I am at a place where I now feel rather disillusioned with the status quo. Admittedly it would be easy to say so if I had never tasted any real ministry success, but I think that I have experienced and enjoyed some influence during these past several years and yet even still feel restless. So, it’s not that I’m being openly critical of something that I secretly envy, it’s what I have already actually experienced that has left me wanting.
I suppose some of this restlessness is intrapersonal conflict within myself over my own natural ambition. I feel like I am waged in an internal conflict of sorts over my lifelong desire to make a “maximum impact” on the church and the world, which really is just pastoral code for “recognized success”. Though we tend to shade our language with spiritualized terminology, the truth is that pastors struggle with self-actualization issues just like the rest. Well, I confess that I have struggled for many years contemplating what would finally qualify me for perceived success among my peers. And, what I have found is that the answer to this question is strangely evasive.
What I have observed is that there is no real path to ministry success or model for ministry growth that one can walk down knowing where it leads. The reality is that there is no rhyme or reason to explain who rises up and who goes down the ladder of ministry notoriety. Though it seems that there are certain people who come with the right message at the right time, there is no guarantee when or where that person or his message will get noticed or heard. From what I can see, there really is no explanation except to conclude only that God sees fit to promote certain people at particular times for His own undisclosed purposes.
Honestly, I don’t really understand why some leaders have such loud voices in the church and culture while others don’t. It may simply be that they just speak up more or just that they happen to speak up when people are actually listening. I’m not sure of that and probably never will be. I am quite sure, though, that there are people who have much to say who aren’t being heard and that there are others who have very little to say but are. Just browse the latest shelf of hardbacks in your Christian bookstore and ask yourself whether any of those author’s words will outlive their own generation and then spend a few hours with someone you respect who has much wisdom to share but no invitation to pass it on and you’ll understand what I mean.
Knowing this, the whole experience of life often feels like a chasing after the wind. Once you’ve chased it and not been able to grasp it, you begin to tire and wonder why you are running in the first place. That is where I now am. I’ve been wondering why I’ve been running so hard, and after what anyway? Solomon observed that much of the success we go after in this life is really just vapor, disappearing before we touch it and certainly voided even if we do. Having pursued and tried to touch the vapor, I can honestly say now that it wasn’t worth the chase. The feeling is a lot like going in circles and ending up in the same place you started, only many times over.
The critical question for me now is what part of the pursuit, if any, is worthwhile? In other words, I’m considering whether the exercise of the run itself has ontological value for me. That is, I’m asking myself about what things I do on the journey that have inherent worth in and of themselves regardless of whether they ever get recognized or rewarded in this life. And, I’ve discovered that there are a few things for me that give me true joy and satisfaction in midst of the chase. And, because there is value and enjoyment simply in doing these things, my satisfaction is not tied to any success or influence that comes with them. For me, the things that I find to be intrinsically satisfying and worthwhile are studying and teaching God’s Word, sharing life with and serving others, and preserving and contributing to God’s goodness in the world.
I have finally figured out that I would spend my time engaging with the Bible, serving the lost and the least, and working to restore beauty in the world whether I was compensated to do it or not. Meaning, there need be no reward or recognition attached to any of these things for me to be fulfilled by them. And, therefore, I have decided that I intend no longer to invest myself into things that must be framed by success in order to be enjoyed. For me, that means easing back on the throttle of personal ambition and professional success and getting used to the quiet and often obscure road of personal contentment.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I intend to purposely avoid opportunity and invitation to success, it just means that I will no longer seek it. I am more convinced than ever that influence or success is not something that I have any control over and that seeking it is really a meaningless waste of my energy anyway. All things considered, I believe that Mother Teresa was right about the whole thing…success is vanity, but faithfulness isn’t.
Kent you are on the right track…Good for you!
I believe the best pastors are those who study and teach…study and teach so the believers in that church know how to live. If we are to be the salt and the light then we better be living a life that honors the Lord in all things. But, we need Bible Doctrine to be able to do this.
You had a great example in your Dad. Another great pastor/teacher is Tom Nelson of Denton Bible Church in Texas. Tom doesn’t seem to get caught up in all of that “stuff” and he takes very seriously his job in leading, feeding and protecting his sheep so false teaching and doctrines do not get into his church.
You are so right…It is not about the worlds standard of “success” that we should pursue…Especially in His church. But, faithfulness to Him and his word will edify and mature the saints. It is not about the numbers at all.
Thanks so much Kent for your hearts desire to do His will…Not the worlds.
Thanks, Linda. I appreciate the kind words. I miss seeing you and your hubby and our great conversations (lamentations) about life and ministry!
Kent I appreciate your transparency. Trust me, pastoring a “smaller” church (I suppose that definition in itself showcases the problem!) I have run -and continue to run- the same gauntlet. There are many whose definition of what a “good church” looks like has very little to do with what the biblical definition of success is. Though success in the evangelical church culture is often tied to quantifiable performance benchmarks like speaking engagements, book deals, baptisms/congregation size/budget or whatever, chasing those benchmarks is the “vanity of vanities” that the Preacher lamented.
Thanks for being such a constant encouragement as a brother in Christ and fellow pastor. It gives me heart to know there are others fighting the same fight to be faithful in such close proximity.
Merry Christmas!
I appreciate that, John. I recall once hearing a well known preacher say that God makes big pastors for big churches and small pastors for small churches, and I about lost my lunch and my call. I’m actually most impressed with the pastors who give themselves away for the kingdom without any fanfare in this life. You hit me as the real thing, and I’m grateful to know you. Keep up the faithful work!
Kent, very well said and I respect your honesty. Let me also tell you the same frustration lives in the “business world.” Instead of “success vs. faithfulness” it’s called “blessing vs. sin.” You may not know my story but over the last 3 years I have gone from the top of the world to the bottom of the heap financially. If my journals were ever evaluated I should probably be locked up. The biggest frustration I have is the whole idea of “blessing.” I have literally been living the Job experience and my “friends” have made some of the same comments to me that they made to Job. Inferring that maybe I have “sin” issues. That God is somehow punishing me. I have done everything possible to “save” my family from financial ruin and nothing has worked. Not even “Joel Osteen” positive thoughts and prayers! lol
Here is my point. In the midst of all of this is the undertone of “Gods blessing.” And “Gods Blessing” involves financial success. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard my fellow Christians tell me how “blessed” they are for their big home or endless cash flow. So, the natural conclusion is that I am “not” blessed because I am struggling. I have been forced to recognize that I am right where God wants me and that I am “blessed.” Not once has the idea of “faithfulness” come up. So you might ask, what’s more important, “blessing” or “faithfulness?” I want to become a public speaker. I want to be known as the “Anti Motivational Speaker.” My goal would be to shed light on all of the “blessing theology” nonsense.
I was raised with the idea that “comfort” is our right and to fight like hell to make sure you are always comfortable. I watch “Christian” moms and dads do whatever it takes to maintain their lifestyles. They don’t care what impact their frantic behavior has on their kids. It’s all about “saving the blessing.” So, moms go back to work and dads take on 2 or 3 jobs. How is this behavior impacting the family? Where is the talk of “faithfulness?” I don’t think comfort was a priority for Mother Theresa. I know from my experience over the past 3 years that comfort was never promised and in fact you might argue that if you are truly living for Christ “comfort” is a cause for concern. “Faith” is what is found in Matthew 5:11 and the “success” will be found in heaven, not necessarily on earth!
Kristi and I recently became ordained Chaplains. We had our ordination in the prayer garden of a “mega” church with a well known “successful” book selling Pastor. We also visited their 20 million youth center that was designed by Disney. A few years ago I would have really been impressed. After suffering for the last 3 years we were not impressed. My thoughts were “vanity of vanities.” In fact one of our friends who used to pastor at the church said “this mega church model is dead!” Wow, powerful words. So maybe “numbers” really don’t matter at all! “Maximum Impact” as you stated probably comes with a “one soul at a time” understanding.
So Kent, keep doing what you are doing. Use Ecclesiastes as your “business plan” and ignore that temptation of “success.” You are on the right track! If you ever do “rise to the top” we will all support you because we know where your heart is!
Love
Shawn
Thanks, Shawn. I think we’re feeling the same thing. There was a time where I thought real success was a large and recognized ministry and that I would find real happiness once I was heading one of them. However, I’m ready to serve soup in the shelter and wash the wounds of street children if God desires it. I’m just through trying to impress people and ready to please God, and I’m quite sure it has nothing to do with my perceived success in this world. Be encouraged, brother! I’m right where you are.
Kent,
It is good to “connect” with you again.
We can either look into the mirror of the culture or God’s Word as our measure. It would seem to me that Jesus primarily influenced 12 people, and they in turn influenced others … and others. Would we call the impact of his ministry a “small church”? Yes. Did these 12 change the world. You bet. I suspect that many “small pastors” who lay a strong foundation and release/unleash their people make a bigger impact than we know.
I always looked forward to attending your classes, and remember that your handouts were always so creative. Good times.
Kevin
Thanks, Kevin. Good point about the disciples! I agree and am glad to connect again with you.
For me, the things that I find to be intrinsically satisfying and worthwhile are studying and teaching God’s Word, sharing life with and serving others, and preserving and contributing to God’s goodness in the world.
Kent,
Thank you for writing this it was a timely read. I grew up the last seven years in your dads church, it was where I learned who Jesus was and it was with great mentors and Pastors in outreach that I learned my true idenity in Christ. It’s left me with a desire to serve.
Now though I am in a no mans land of sorts away from the body that grew me and I keep wondering will I find a church that offers the all the classes, choices that I had at SBC and Citi of Grace. Will I be able to find a mega group of believers to help me cope with as I care for my mom here in a town I barely recognize around strangers I hardly know. I have been here now two and half months I visited Rob Bells church it’s about 45 min away which was interesting but left me wondering is this it? I started going to a little church..asking the question is this my home? A pastor there visited my mother I accepted his invitation to attend- no bells and whistles or big screens. I am not sure if this is where I am to be I am struggling and miss our family of believers you see all my friends on FB we have in common, no Double B Brewers here.
So I ask that you pray for me and this season, it’s not a bad thing to be in the desert like this so to speak, because it causes me to ask God for everything because he is all I have to cling to in the sense that he gets me, knows my needs and supplies. I knew I wanted to be a full time missionary one day in some ways I feel like I am. In our world it’s common place to read your bible here it’s not so much. In my studies with gals having mentored and taught we knew Jesus was our savior and made us for purpose, here so many women have no one to care about them and it seems Jesus was a nice man, not our living God. So it is with every encounter with a non-believing gal the Lord gives me a chance to say do you know who you are and how amazing it is to be known by God.
Kristin B of Greater Reach my mentor and I are discussing bringing her teachings of womens Idenity here in January, I feel confident the gals I have met would love it and learn more about who God made them to be. I am not a Pastor I am just a gal filled with the knowledge that Gods word is alive and lives in me and Jesus set me free.
I pray alongside you in the spirit when I place upon my armor- Ephesians and will continue to pray for your ministry, your an amazing gifted soul. Thanks for this great post it was a reminder…success is faithfulness.
Blessings,
Enriqueta
Thanks, Enriqueta. It’s good to hear from you. It sounds like you are possibly doing the very thing you have felt called to…missions. Just, not in the way or place you expected. There is a great refining that takes place when we have no one else but God to fellowship with, and it seems that His voice speaks even more clearly to us in places like that. I will pray for you during this time that you will seek and experience the joys of faithfulness.
The pursuit of self-actualization is another name for self-worship. We are here to glorify God. Yes, Maslow is well known, but Almighty God is greater. As sincere followers of Jesus, let us seek our contentment in glorifying our King. Although we all stray (a.k.a. sin) in our thoughts and seek our own piece of glory here on earth (resulting in restless due to its inherent inadequacy), the best antidote is to repent before the King and worship Him. He alone is worthy of our focus. All other pursuits are idol worship. Let us spur one another on toward good stewardship of our thought life and not focus on self-actualization. Let us long for, with expectant hearts, the day when Isaiah 45:23 and Romans 14:11 come to pass. Then, debates about success or even faithfulness will not matter. Our King will be before us and we will fall on our faces in gratitude for all eternity.
Thanks for your comment, Ellen. It sounds as if you don’t ever struggle with this issue, so good for you. I think that though we are all pressing on to abandon ourselves in this life, it is an authentic struggle for most of us.
On the contrary, I do struggle with it. I sense from your response that you are defensive. Apparently I didn’t do a good job communicating that what seemed to be missing from your post was hope. I was interjecting that there really is a higher purpose than self-actualization and that even faithfulness can be a vain pursuit. When I spend time focusing on “me” rather than Jesus there is inner conflict! Praise God, “ME” fades away when I am reminded to take every thought captive. Sometimes I can see/hear this on my own, other times I need a sister or brother to remind me . . . to interject the truth and hope I’ve forgotten. As Paul said, “to live is Christ and die is gain.” I just missed seeing that hope in your post and thought you might be encouraged to be reminded. Blessings to you during this time of rejoicing in the fulfillment of prophecy: Our Messiah!
Ellen, no, I didn’t get from your comment a sense of encouragement, so I appreciate the clarification. I think I just respectfully disagree with you that faithfulness is also a vain pursuit, as Jesus called us to that very thing. I am actually quite hopeful because I find that recalibrating my focus in life from success to faithfulness is very liberating.
on the contrary, I read hope all the way through. I also read an example of honesty in the body that is not something we tend to share out.
It could be considered airing our dirty laundry. I appreciated most about the post the sense that Kent has reflected on a way he has been journeying and a realization has come that continuing in that particular mode is not for him, he came to a crossroads and has chosen the road that best fits his call.
I didn’t read anything about self-actualization. ?? I did read and felt compelled to connect to the honesty with which he wrote of his time in ministry. I think since it seems we are all believers here that we might grace him the full knowledge he is fully aware of “me vs God “and that his point had more to do with realizing a truth about the body and stating it. It’s not the truth of Gods word it is the truth that in our humanness we fail to live out 100% in the spirit and while we are renewed in our spirit daily we are still even at our best still in the battle of our lives.
We are a part of a great tapestry, history that respectfully Ellen -I am in. Me- I am the only Enriqueta Angleita Turanzas and we have bumped into each others worlds and for a brief moment you have the pleasure of knowing my vulnerable plight in the world. I mentored and cared for women in Asia and the Middle East and I can say every time I am authentic a women stands up to say “me too”.
I seek Gods face but sometimes I get mad, right now it’s been hard almost 3 months since my mothers stroke, I am on the other side of the country away from my friends and ministry. I still only have the clothes from the two suitcases I brought given only 24 hour notice to get here before we lost her. (gratefully she is recovering). I am tired, I have been pouring out day after day and wondering for the last few days Lord what about me?
I don’t think that makes me any less of Christian or that I am unable to take thoughts captive or I am without hope. I think I am like a lot of minsters in our church…tired. Kent’s post was about his being tired of being that guy who follows the trend when his heart is saying it’s not the way God wants him to go and he sounds like he is taking the leap of faith to follow the Holy Spirit guiding him as God has pressed on his heart.
that to me was inspiring because he acknowledged the “race” isn’t always easy or looks the same no matter how long you have been in on the scene.
I took away, I am here at my own crossroads and I not in my safe world but out here in the world and needing to trust God with it all even when I feel hurt or in the feelings I had “abandoned”. I know in intellectually that is not true…but for a a time I wept at the Lords feet to share my heart to say-it’s how I feel Lord. He got it and has since provided as only a beloved would.
nothing about self-actualization-just continued growth.
Sincerely, a Gal in love the lord who misses the comforts of my safe circle of believers now out in the world, grateful to have happened on a well of encouragement via a blog.
Best,